Support a Whisperers Building

On the tenth of November 2007, I gave birth to my son, CJ-Steven, who was born full term.

'Whisperers' is the kind of organisation I wish had existed when I had my son that November.

When you're pregnant, no-one prepares you for the possible outcome I endured; losing something so precious so unexpectedly. After being told, "I'm so sorry. He's gone.", you're then left alone to process the news.

You know nothing about what has happened or will happen, there are no leaflets in your Bounty Pack that can help, nothing by way of information within the Hospital. You feel completely and utterly alone. You are not forewarned about things like how your baby might look once it is born, nor are you told how, during labour, it will feel as though your baby is still alive and moving.

Meanwhile, as you try so hard to make sense of everything that is happening, forms are being thrust upon you from all directions to authorise autopsies, organ donation for medical research. And all this while you are still reeling from what took place in the scan room just a short time before.

There is a total lack of support as even with your family behind you, no-one can really help or understand, unless they have been through it themselves. I found the staff at Colchester Hospital did not take the time to sit down and explain any of the processes involved with delivering my child; nor were they aware of the things I could do with the precious time I was able to spend with my son; normal, everyday things like taking pictures, putting together memory books, bathing him. The creation of memories which would last forever. Staff needed more training on the practicalities of looking after the baby once born. For example, my midwife was not aware of the likelihood of skin slip and, when wiping CJ-Steven's eye, ripped the skin away in part. These are instances which are so disturbing for everyone and so easily avoided with a little more training.

It would have helped me so much if someone had taken the time to explain these things to me. It would have helped if someone had told me that your body still makes milk, when you hear another baby cry or when you smell your own child. It's the not knowing that makes all these things so much harder to deal with, which is something I'm hoping to rectify through Whisperers' work.