- Target:
- Mayor George Peary
- Region:
- Canada
- Website:
- www.paawarenessday.com
DEFINITION OF PARENTAL ALIENATION
Prepared by Theo J. Boere, Co-President MARS BC
Men's Affordable Resources Society of British Columbia
Helping communities to support dads and men
http://marsbc.com/PA_Definition.htm
Parental Alienation is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other, target parent. In severe cases, the child's once love-bonded relationship with the rejected/target parent is destroyed.
Parental Alienation or a similar type of behavioral acting out by divorcing parents has become a pervasive aspect of divorce in our society. Clawar and Rivlin (Reading List #7) found that parental alienation was practiced to varying degrees by 80% of divorcing parents, with 20 percent engaging in such behaviors with their children at least once a day. According to Johnston (Reading List #8,9,39), 43% of children they examined were in strong alignments with an alienating parent and 29% in mild alignments.
These figures approach Gardner's estimate that 90% of the children he has assessed in custody evaluations exhibit varying degrees of PAS.
PETITION REQUEST
Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting involve a series of behaviors, that can effectively alienate a child from a parent. They are often seen in the context of high conflict divorce or custody cases, and are done by a third party, such as a parent, or extended family. Such behaviors interfere with the bond between a loving parent and child.
These behaviors can include speaking negatively about a parent to, or in front of, a child; interfering with communication and visitation; moving and leaving no contact information; allowing children to make inappropriate decisions, such as if they want to see the other parent; and discussing inappropriate information with a child, such as details of the marriage, court proceedings, and financial matters.
The most common response of a child exposed to alienating behaviors is extreme resistance to contact with, or fear of, a parent without any justifiable cause.
These behaviors are both painful and destructive, and can leave deep and long-lasting emotional scars on a child. Research has shown that children who have been alienated from a parent show a greater percentage of depression, low self-esteem, drug and alcohol problems, and difficulties in their own relationships.
While not everyone agrees on the terminology, most mental health and legal professionals acknowledge and agree that alienating behaviors, such as those above are damaging.
These behaviors, designed to take advantage of a child’s suggestibility and dependency, leave a child feeling confused, frightened, and insecure.
They can result in the loss of a relationship with a previously loving, supportive, and nurturing parent, and, in fact, send a message, that the half of the child that is that parent is unworthy. The child has “lost” a parent, but is given no permission to grieve.
Parental Alienation behaviors, under the term, Parental Alienation, must be recognized, understood, and addressed to allow a child to love and be loved by both parents, regardless of the parents’ relationship to each other.
We urge Mayor George Peary to learn more about Parental Alienation, and we invite him to visit
http://www.PAawareness.org We ask that he issue a Proclamation declaring April 25th as Parental Alienation Awareness Day in the City of Abbotsford, British Columbia.
For the sake of all children to be able to give and receive all of the love they deserve.
Resources:
1. http://www.PAawareness.org
2. Darnall, Douglas, “Divorce Casualties”, Taylor Trade Publishing, 1998
3. Warshak, Richard A., “Divorce Poison”, Harper Collins Publishing, 2001
You can further help this campaign by sponsoring it
The Make Abbotsford a Parental Alienation Aware City petition to Mayor George Peary was written by Kevin Pedersen and is in the category Children's Rights at GoPetition.