Down with Diet Coke!

One month ago a tragedy befell the school of Mt. Lebanon; all the soda machines were replaced by horrendous diet coke machines... This is a travesty to the entire population of students in our beloved learning environment...

In today's world everyone is so into the diet trend. Little do they know that the diet drinks contain Aspartame, which can be very dangerous and has many know side effects such as:

Eyes:

Blindness in one or both eyes
Decreased vision and/or other eye problems such as: blurring, bright flashes, squiggly lines, tunnel vision, decreased night vision
Pain in one or both eyes
Decreased tears
Trouble with contact lenses
Bulging eyes

Ears:

Tinnitus - ringing or buzzing sound
Severe intolerance of noise
Marked hearing impairment

Neurological:

Epileptic seizures
Headaches, migraines and (some severe)
Dizziness, unsteadiness, both
Confusion, memory loss, both
Severe drowsiness and sleepiness
Paresthesia or numbness of the limbs
Severe slurring of speech
Severe hyperactivity and restless legs
Atypical facial pain
Severe tremors

Psychological/Psychiatric:

Severe depression
Irritability
Aggression
Anxiety
Personality changes
Insomnia
Phobias

Chest:

Palpitations, tachycardia
Shortness of breath
Recent high blood pressure

Gastrointestinal:

Nausea
Diarrhea, sometimes with blood in stools
Abdominal pain
Pain when swallowing

Skin and Allergies:

Itching without a rash
Lip and mouth reactions
Hives
Aggravated respiratory allergies such as asthma

Endocrine and Metabolic:

Loss of control of diabetes
Menstrual changes
Marked thinning or loss of hair
Marked weight loss
Gradual weight gain
Aggravated low blood sugar (hypoglycemia)
Severe PMS

Other:

Frequency of voiding and burning during urination
Excessive thirst, fluid retention, leg swelling, and bloating
Increased susceptibility to infection

Additional Symptoms of Aspartame:

Death
Irreversible brain damage
Birth defects, including mental retardation
Peptic ulcers
Aspartame addiction and increased craving for sweets
Hyperactivity in children
Severe depression
Aggressive behavior
Suicidal tendencies

Aspartame may trigger, mimic, or cause the following:

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Epstein-Barr
Post-Polio Syndrome
Lyme disease
Grave’s Disease
Meniere’s disease
Alzheimer’s disease
ALS
Epilepsy
Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
EMS
Hypothyroidism
Mercury sensitivity from Amalgam fillings
Fibromyalgia
Lupus
Non-Hodgkin’s
Lymphoma
Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

In short we need to rebel and get our soda back. Real soda makes you fat, diet soda Screws you up and may kill you.